Crooks, T. et al
In recognition of the importance of clean water around the world, an international manufacturing company celebrated World Water Day by making their toxic pollutants dumped into the water supply more colorful. From red-pigmented lead-paint to unlabelled but expired violet crystals, reagents of various colors across the rainbow have been added to underline the company’s commitment to water around the world.
“We really wanted to highlight what water means for us by making it as beautiful and important as we feel it is every day,” said the company’s spokesperson, Cheryl Dubois. “Water is the most vibrant and glowing resource we have on this planet. That’s why we’ve also added large quantities of radioluminescent radium to the water! Now, its beauty can even be seen in the dark.”
Upon concerns about the potential impact on wildlife, Dubois went on to explain that the company has taken careful measures to ensure that animals of all varieties could enjoy the pollutants by adding toxins beyond the visible spectrum. “Even animals who can only see infrared wavelengths are able to enjoy the additives, so long as they’re not tempted to drink!”
Chief chemist for the plant, Franklin Toews, explained that to reduce unnecessary waste, they only added toxic compounds that produced the most vibrant colors. “We wanted to play to our strengths and eliminate any unnecessary pollution. Just a pinch of phenol red gives the acidic waste a gorgeous yellow color and confirms that it is unable to sustain any form of life.”
When asked to comment, Mortimer Jones, the company’s CEO stated, “I’m thrilled to see this celebration. Not just today, but for years to come given the half-life of many of these elements. It was a lot of work to organize everything for a single event, but I believe the financial investment is worth it.”
