Ito, R. et al
An asteroid that had been labeled as having the potential to end all life on Earth has been demoted to a potential manslaughter meteorite thanks to the incredible defence put forward by astro-attorney J.M. Lessman.
“There is little evidence to suggest that after passing through the planet’s atmosphere that my client would have the mass required to cause a mass extinction event,” Lessman told members of the astronomical review board. “Furthermore, my client was several thousand lightyears with a trajectory barely pointing toward Earth. If it had changed course towards the planet, I suspect there would be a strong case of Earth using its gravitational pull for entrapment.”
Dr Helen McPherson, who presided over the observatory the trial was held at, states that the defendant was still dubbed a manslaughter meteoroid, as the odds it could indirectly kill a person are allegedly still quite high.
“While the defense has put forth sufficient evidence that this space rock could not directly kill someone intentionally, it’s still large enough that it could be responsible for the death of a person by crashing into their life support system, or by pure domino effect on impact,” argued Dr. McPherson. “This court believes the lighter sentencing of weeks of government observation and being wished upon to be appropriate at this time.”
For Lessman, this is the latest in a series of successful space cases won. His previous cases include successfully suing the moon for criminal negligence, a wrongful death lawsuit for a star that went supernova prematurely, and for absolving an innocent black hole accused of eating an entire galaxy (one cluster of stars was revealed to still exist.)
