Year: 2019

Since it’s mostly plastic at this point, maybe we just give up on calling it The Ocean

“That kid will never learn how to get nutrients for itself if Cheryl keeps this up.”

Critics are taking aim at the solar industry after an investigation revealed that no woman has ever spoken on any of the world’s solar panels.

Just a quick hit of your graph’s flawless curves will allow me to survive another year of statistical insignificance!

“Trust me, you don’t need to remember more than four seconds back to figure out that existence is suffering”

“I worry that the inclusion of “aromatic hydrocarbons” implies the issue was mostly due to their strong smell, and not the extremely high risk of cancer.”

The woman in question did not blind me with science. Rather, despite her repeated warnings against it, I blinded myself by staring directly into the sun during a solar eclipse.

Early humans would commonly call their Neanderthal sexual partners “exotic,” apparently believing that was somehow an okay thing to say.