Chemistry Theoretical Physicists Confirm Earth Is Neither Flat Nor Round, But A Series Of Quantized Earth Orbitals
Medicine First Year Psych Student Confidently Diagnoses Friend With Disorder She Just Learned Existed
Chemistry Pre-Med Student Tearfully Deletes “Aspiring Doctor 🩺” From Instagram Bio After First Organic Chemistry Midterm
Research Lab Run by AI Fails the Turing Test After All Students Report That They Are Happy October 18, 2024
Biology PPE “Kinda Optional” In This Lab Reports Scarred, Fluorescent Lab Technician October 17, 2024
Research Oops! I Accidentally Submitted To A Predatory Journal And Now It’s Hunting Me For Sport October 16, 2024
Chemistry Unlabeled Bottle in Chemistry Lab “Definitely Acid of Some Kind” According to Undergrad Whose Hands Are Burning October 15, 2024
News & Views Competitive Faculty Position Selection Process Includes Chalk Talk, Brutal Gladiator-Style Combat October 11, 2024
Medicine First Year Psych Student Confidently Diagnoses Friend With Disorder She Just Learned Existed October 10, 2024 she has now diagnosed as many mental illnesses in the past month that would take a trained psychologist at least a decade
Astronomy Hottie Alert! The James Webb Telescope Just Found A New Heavenly Body That Is Absolutely Jacked September 14, 2024
Biology Marine Biologists Confirm Mermaid That Washed Up On Shore Had Stomach Full Of Thing-A-Ma-Bobs September 13, 2024
Biology God Not Sure How to Tell Humanity That E. Coli Is The Species Made in His Own Image August 4, 2024
Biology PPE “Kinda Optional” In This Lab Reports Scarred, Fluorescent Lab Technician October 17, 2024
Research Oops! I Accidentally Submitted To A Predatory Journal And Now It’s Hunting Me For Sport October 16, 2024
News & Views Competitive Faculty Position Selection Process Includes Chalk Talk, Brutal Gladiator-Style Combat October 11, 2024
Environment Vengeful Gods Growing Increasingly Frustrated That Climate Change Receiving All The Credit For Their Wrath And Smiting July 29, 2024
Environment Yas Queen! Climate Scientists Say We Should Prepare For An Entire Hot Girl Century!!! July 29, 2024
Biology Grad Student Becomes Lab’s Go-To Graphic Designer After Making Half-Decent Image In Powerpoint July 23, 2024
Medicine Lab Libs! Researchers Have Uncovered A Link Between [Something You Love] And [The Worst Thing You Can Think Of] June 18, 2024
Biology Sparrow Bragging About T-Rex Ancestry Actually Descended From Some Bitch-Ass Lizard June 10, 2024 A local sparrow was stunned after a DNA test revealed that 90% of his genetics are from something called a “Tonga Ground Skink” and not from a Tyrannosaurus rex, as his family has claimed for generations.
Environment QUIZ: Should We Try To Solve The Climate Crisis Or Just Let A Few People Make As Much Money As Possible In The Little Time We Have Left? June 8, 2024
Biology Super Bacteria Mock New Antibiotics By Spelling Out “That All You Got?” Under Microscope May 30, 2024 The super bacteria call the microbiologist’s attempts at assassinating their colony “pathetic”
Biology Aww! This New Line of Bacteria Scented Candles Will Make Your Place Smell Just Like The Warm Room That Hasn’t Been Cleaned In Decades May 19, 2024
Biology Cool! Snakes Tired of Being Poached for Boots Are Evolving Skin To Look Cheap and Tasteless July 7, 2022
Medicine Experimental Psychology Professor Assigns 500 Page Essay On Sleep Deprivation Due Tomorrow May 12, 2022
Biology Wow! This Newly Discovered Dinosaur Was Just Elected Nation’s Youngest Senator April 17, 2022
Astronomy Lonely Perseverance Rover Fires Up Tinder To Begin Search Signs of Martian Love Life March 18, 2021
Biology Scientists Confirm Sex With A Neanderthal Would Have Been Fucking Mind-blowing March 15, 2021
Engineering Oops! Offshore Wind Farm Accidentally Spills Millions Of Gallons of Wind Into The Ocean March 2, 2021
Engineering Protocol: How To Use Data Science To Prove Your Roommate Is Slacking On Dishes February 7, 2021
Medicine Clinically Depressed Man Can’t Wait to Return to Pre-COVID Lifestyle of Avoiding Human Contact and Rarely Leaving Home February 1, 2021
News & Views Whoopsie! Researcher Accidentally Submits Paper To Science Total Landscaping November 17, 2020
Most cited Grad Student Desperate For Feedback Thrilled To Receive “K.” From Supervisor After Just 3 Months September 27, 2020
Chemistry Whoops! This Research Chemist Forgot To Add “But Not For Drugs” At The End Of Their Google Search And Now They’re On A Watch List September 15, 2020
Engineering Bankrupt Company Forced To Sell Customer’s Data Just To Afford Executive Bonuses August 27, 2020
Medicine Study Confirms Americans Will Believe Anything Said By People Wearing White Coats, As Long As They’re Not Doctors Or Scientists August 12, 2020
Biology Scientists Agree To Only Play God With Lifeforms That Were Likely To Worship Them Anyways August 5, 2020
Medicine Open Letter From A Lab Rat: Please Remove The Tumour You Genetically Engineered Into My Anus And Explain Yourselves July 27, 2020
Biology Whoa! This New Fluorescent Antibody Is Just As Dim As The Previous One, But Twice As Expensive! July 22, 2020
Grad Student Who Used Any Excuse To Avoid Lab Work Now Reminiscing About All The Experiments They Could Be Doing
“We Condemn Racism In All Forms,” Says University Founded By Racists That Still Has Buildings Named After Notorious Racists